When Feelings Try to Write Your Story

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit suspended in the air, like I’m dangling and not knowing whether or not I’m gonna fall or be lifted to higher ground. The uncertainty of moving forward with life continues worldwide. On every continent, people can’t plan for future days. I have felt like I’ve been riding a roller coaster of emotions for about four months, and I want to get off and get my money back!

It occurred to me today that the feeling I’ve been having is real, but it’s not true. All of our feelings (and thoughts!) are real and valid. They’re really happening, and we’re really experiencing them. But that does not mean they’re true. The narrative my emotions have been writing says that I’m suspended in air, unable to go up or down or sideways. I’m stuck. I’m not in control, and I’m just waiting to move on with my life. That is most certainly what it feels like. The truth is that while I can’t plan for the things I want to do, the places I want to visit, or the things I want and need to buy, I am not stuck. I can still move forward. Because of this feeling, I began telling myself this lie. All it has done for me is depress me and cause anxiety because when you feel like you’re hanging by a thread, it’s scary.

But what if I were to change the narrative? What if I were to tell my feelings to shut up, sit down, and listen? If I were to do that, I think this is what I’d see.

  • Instead of being suspended in air, unable to move forward, I am actually held and safe in Jesus’ hands.
  • Instead of being stuck, I’m free. When I’m in His hands, I’m free to be who He created me to be and to do the things He’s called me to do.
  • Instead of not having any agency or control, I actually can make choices and decisions within the boundaries given to me.

This is a radically different narrative. It restores the truth to me that I am loved by God, held by Him, and my very address is under His sovereignty (Acts 17:26). I am not going to fall; I am safe in His hands. I also see that because He loves me and is taking care of me, I can live out the gifts He’s given me. I’m not thwarted or held back in this season; I’m free to live as His beloved (Ephesians 2:10). His hands are not tied, and neither are mine. Finally, I see that because I’m made in His image, being conformed to the image of Jesus, and filled with the Holy Spirit, I have the power to choose to walk according to His plan for my life and make choices each day to deepen my relationship with Him and with others (Romans 8:14-17).

Are your feelings trying to steal your pen and write your story? Do you struggle too? I’d love to hear from you what you’re learning and how God is using this time to transform you into the image of His Beloved Son, Jesus.

Author: Amanda Geidl

I'm a child of God, married to Dave, mom to Sam, Maryn, Lucy, Felix, Milo, and Leif, and I live outside of Kansas City, writing words that encourage others as well as myself.

2 thoughts

  1. You described what your mother is feeling with all this. I feel trapped, unable to call up a friend and say let’s go to lunch and go browse a store or two. It’s the simple things we take for granted. Yet we are to be content in any circumstance. The old me is having a tantrum kicking and screaming while the new me is perfectly content. The enemy wants to steal our joy anyway he can and keep us in a black hole of despair. I must not look for joy in worldly things but only in His word and resting in His arms. Give us strength!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thankful for your ability to write your feelings, wisdom and share. This season of life is new. I have found peace each day staying at home. Life has slowed us down. Made me realize how Blessed to live where we do here in Arkansas. Enjoying planting a garden, a little larger this year. Simple things of hearing the birds sing us a beautiful song almost 24hrs a day. I miss seeing my family and especially my grandchildren. But thankful they are safe and sound. Our world had become just to crazy, too busy, too evil. Gods peace is quite assuring in this new season of life. I think our normal will be changed forever. Trusting. Thankful.

    Liked by 1 person

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